If the gyrations in the stock markets have had your head spinning, don't lose sleep over it just yet, 如果股市天翻地覆讓你頭昏眼花，先別因此失眠，
at least not until Jeanne Moos puts everything in perspective as only she can. 至少等到吉妮‧莫斯帶你看清一切現況，也只有她才做得到。
Better check your wallet; you may feel poorer as the Dow went down, down, downer. 最好檢查你的錢包，當美國道瓊工業指數下跌、下跌、再下跌，你可能覺得更窮了。
But hold on -- on Tuesday, 但等一下，星期二的時候，
the roller coaster headed back up; a rough ride for the parody E-Trade baby created by College Humor. 雲霄飛車回頭走升，大學幽默網站創造的搞笑模仿電子交易寶寶也坐了趟驚險的雲霄飛車。
Oh God, it just dropped 400 points. This is not happening, dear Lord. 天哪，剛才跌了四百點。老天爺，這不是真的。
And though the market rallied Tuesday, it's hard not to panic... 即使星期二股市振作了起來，仍很難讓人不恐慌……
Sell, sell, sell. 快賣、快賣、快賣。
...when the whole world seems out of control. ……因為全世界好像都失控了。
More market mayhem. 更多的股市混亂。
London is burning. 倫敦燃起熊熊大火。
Rioting, arson, looting... 暴動、放火、搶劫……
The famine in East Africa... 東非的飢荒……
Panic mode. 進入慌亂模式。
It's enough to make you want to crawl back under the covers. And even when the market goes back up and there's good news, they give it a bad name. 這些足以讓你想要爬進被子裡躲起來。即使當股市回升且傳出好消息，大家仍給它冠上污名。
Could this be a... what they call a rip-your-face-off rally? 這個會不會是……他們所謂的翻臉不認人的止跌回升嗎？
A rip-your-face-off rally does not involve Jim Carrey. 翻臉不認人的止跌回升和金凱瑞沒有關係，
It's defined as a market advance with extreme intensity, so much so that it takes facial skin and hair with it. 它的定義是股市急劇上漲，轉向之劇烈像是要把臉部皮膚和頭髮都扯掉了。
And speaking of faces, trader body language inspired a Web site called the Brokers with Hands on Their Faces Blog. 談到臉，交易員的肢體語言啟發了一個網站，叫做《掩面的股票經紀人部落格》。
People like Rush Limbaugh like to coin names when the market tanks. 在股市慘跌時，像羅許‧林堡這些人喜歡自創一些名詞。
Obamageddon. That's what we have witnessed this Friday. Barackalypse now. 歐巴馬末日。這是我們本週五所見證的。現在是巴拉克浩劫。
CNBC's Jim Cramer had his own name for a market caught up in emotion. CNBC的吉姆‧奎莫自己替這個情緒化的股市取了一個名字。
Well, I am calling this a Bee Gees market because it's just emotion that's taking me over. 嗯，我稱之為比吉斯股市，因為情緒淹沒了我。
Talk about emotion taking over, blurry photos circulated on Twitter showing a plane buzzing the offices of Standard & Poor's towing a banner reading, 談到情緒泛濫，推特上流傳一張模糊的照片，照片中看到一架飛機拉著旗幟低空飛過標準普爾辦公大樓，上面寫著：
"Thanks for the downgrade, you should all be fired." 「多虧了降級，你們真該全部被開除。」
Fortune magazine reports it was paid for by an angry Midwestern broker. 《財富》雜誌報導，這架飛機是一個憤怒的中西部股票經紀人付錢請來的。
Wall Street's spending yet another day in what's being described as freak-out mode. 但另一天，華爾街以一種被形容成驚慌失措模式的狀態大失血。
Even comedians took cover from the carnage. 連喜劇演員也尋找掩蔽遠離這場廝殺。
I'm just down here looking for my emergency hobo satchel. OK. Now, remember, folks, just remember, just remember, over the long-term stocks always increase in value. 我剛才在下面找我的緊急流浪包。好，別忘了，大家別忘了，別忘了長遠來看，股市一定會升值。
Hey, everybody's chicken. When the market goes down over 600 points one day and up over 400 the next, even the parody E-Trade baby gets queasy. 大家都是膽小鬼。當股市在一天內下跌六百多點，隔天又上漲四百多點，連搞笑模仿電子交易寶寶都要嘔吐了。
I think I'm going to be sick. 我想我快要吐了。
Jeanne Moos, CNN... 吉妮‧莫斯，CNN……
I'm gonna jump out the window now. 我現在要跳樓了。
...New York. ……在紐約的報導。